Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Dollar, Dollar, Year End Review Scholar

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son--that He knows of!
 –Big Book of Jokes for the John 3:16

A Red Death, Walter Mosley.  I like Devil in a Blue Dress better, but I’ll probably read the next in the Easy Rawlins series, White Butterfly, if for no other reason than to complete the Old Glory Trilogy, if that’s what it’s called.  Never much of a flag-waver, though, I’m in no hurry.  What is it with mystery writers these days?  Always a gimmick.  Right, Sue Grafton? 

 Primitive Mentor, Dean Young.  My favorite books by Young are Turbulence, Strike Anywhere & Skid, but PM has some good poems in it.  I wouldn’t dare presume to tell you which ones when surely you’ll know when you read them, won’t you?

Selected Poems, Louis Zukofsky.  I like early Zukofsky better than later Zukofsky.  His early poems are fairly accessible, but a transformation, if not a metamorphosis, occurs roughly somewhere during his 800 page–that’s right, 800 pages, not lines–poem “A,” which I’ve learned  he always called “A” whenever he talked about “A” since that’s what he called it, “A,” so his later horse carbon thou art / turbine knife life wife eating / green beef (grief) foxy / you meet you look so handsome / Charles Man- / son non- / dairy creamer pristine / cleaner than / a cattle saddle / wintergreen ideal spleen sat / concubine conundrum / bongo 8:2 the  bari- / tone hava cuppa java / mitosis platypus L=(A=N=G=U)=A=G=E=(I=S=H) poems impress me not so much.  That said, whatever that is, I enjoy his “translations” of Catullus, though, long out of print, that gem of a collection sells for about a gazillion dollars used, yet I recently found it for $15.  Woohoo! 

Greed, Ai.   Ai gives voice to the pervert, pedophile, rapist, murder, assassin & priest–all the same person, as the old joke goes.  Kidding aside--for you won't find lots of chuckles while reading Ai--these poems reflect the deviance & dirt of existence in such a way as to make the spellbound reader rubberneck to view the train wreck of the human condition in its basest form.  Not only nameless degenerates & lowlifes, but the infamous & famous, such as Lee Harvey Oswald, Jack Ruby & J. Edgar Hoover, also come forth with their twisted histories.  Be sure to keep an eye out, er, for a cameo by Sammy Davis, Jr.

To the Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf.  Although Woolf is one of my favorite novelists, To the Lighthouse doesn’t make my short list of favorite novels. I prefer Mrs. Dalloway (sheer lyrical brilliance) & Orlando (ditto, despite the royalty crap).   Even so, if the uninitiated were to ask what one book by Virginia Woolf to read, I’d recommend To the Lighthouse–this is my third reading–if for no other reason than it’s Woolf’s most important novel.   Beyond that–as well as beyond Woolf’s ususal lyricism, which she reportedly tired of hearing about–To the Lighthouse creates not only vivid character sketches, as her novels are wont to do, but also portrays, with rhythmic strokes of her pen, new & varied perspectives "of her old antagonist, life." 

Les Fleurs du Mal, Charles Baudelaire, trans. Richard Howard.  In this bilingual text released in 1982, Howard emphasizes thematic structure in an attempt to bring Baudelaire into 20th century American lexicon, free of the rhymes that have impaired myriad other translations of Baudelaire like a syphilitic infection.  Good stuff!

Ultramarine, Raymond Carver.  Carver’s a great short story writer, one of my all-time faves, but I’ve always been rather lukewarm on his poetry. For me, it’s never been that Carver at times seems too simple (as he writes in “Simple,” “It is that simple”), or that the characteristically terse Carver leaves what I consider (who am I to say?) extraneous lines in these simple poems (for instance, the last line of “The Gift,” the last poem in the collection), but more that he exhibits a tendency to sentimentalize.   Again, who am I to say?   However, reading these poems, I’m starting to warm up.  As the Delfonics are to Max Cherry (Jackie Brown, 1997), so too, in my view, is Carver the poet pretty good  

The Springhouse, Norman Dubie.  Like the Delfonics, Norman Dubie is also pretty good. Some of my favorite poems in this collection are “The Duchess’ Red Shoes,” “The Trolley from Xochimilco” & “Oration: Half Moon in Vermont.”  If not the best 35¢ I ever spent, it may be the smartest. 

Poems Written in Early Youth, T.S. Eliot.  Which makes the half-dollar I spent on this very flimsy collection of poems mostly from Eliot’s uni days seem a tad overpriced, though I am surprised that “A Fable for Feasters” hasn’t been made into a Broadway musical . . . yet.

The Good Soldier, Ford Madox Ford.  I’d read this book in grad school, but I’d forgotten everything about it, so I read it again & I believe I may know why I’d forgotten it, for The Good Soldier may very well be the most boring novel I’ve ever read.  I just plain don’t care about the lives of two well-to-do couples in Europe–no, there were the eight years in India, though it may have been longer, or at least it seemed that way–at the turn of the 20th century, especially as told by the dullard of a narrator who inexplicably recounts events & conversations to which he had not witnessed & whose way of telling a story, that is, the way that people tell stories when they tell them to one another, doesn’t make for a great novel, as he suggests at the start of Part 4, if I recall, but rather makes life, death, even sex–yes, people are fucking all over the place, though he is, if not blissfully then imbecilically, unawares–about as exciting as, well, a Ford Madox Ford novel.  Here’s hoping that keeping a blog account of the books I’ve read helps to remind me not to repeat my error & ever pick up this colossal turd again.

Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace.  I found this darkly humorous novel–it has several actual LOL moments–intelligent & innovative, despite bouts of stereotyping & gratuitous racial epithets tossed off with disturbing ease.  The endnotes, which I enjoyed the novelty of at first, became annoying after a while, especially given that the storyline is already disjointed & the book extremely long–much, much too long–to begin with, though it may be more accurate to say, “end with.”   A good read, yes, but in dire need of an intervention.

Endless Life: Selected Poems, Lawrence Ferlinghetti.  I recently heard someone call Ferlinghetti the best of the Beats.  Well, that got me thinking & you know what that means.  Several Advils later, I found myself reading Endless Life.  I generally like Ferlinghetti & many of the poems in this volume in particular–“The World Is a Beautiful Place,” “In a Time of Revolution for Instance,” “Director of Alienation,” for example–but as for best of the Beats, I thought, what about Ginsberg?  After all, his name has become almost synonymous with the Beat movement, for what little that’s worth.  I mean, lots of people consider Dali the epitome of surrealism when, in fact, Breton took great pleasure in removing Avida Dollars from his select group.  (People, ha! They’re the same heads-up-their-asses dumbfucks who vote for goddam Democrats thinking that they’re progressives when the slimy ass-kissing motherfuckers support the same bullshit neoliberal agenda as their cocksucking GOP asswipe counterparts, for fuck’s sake!)  With that in mind, next thing I know, I’m reading . . . 

Howl & Other Poems, Allen Ginsberg.  Ginsberg’s signature piece, “Howl,” begins strong, but it’s too long & unwieldy for Ginsberg, despite his gift for making adjectives out of anything & everything, to maintain the energy & intensity of the opening lines.  Indeed, much of this much anthologized title poem seems simply a reiteration of Kerouac’s classic On the Road in Whitman-esque verse.  Which you prefer, I suppose, says more about you than it does about the  works themselves.  Personally, I think “A Supermarket in California” is a better poem.  As for which Beat beats the other, Ferlinghetti wins this round, but the war isn't over.  The war is never really over.

The Crying of Lot 49, Thomas Pynchon.  I read this book several years ago & now I’ve read it again.  I like it better this time than the last.  If I were a student whose assignment was to write an essay on some aspect of the novel, I might discuss Pynchon’s use of satiric names, such as Dr. Hilarius, Mike Fallopian, Emory Bortz, Stanley Koteks, et al., as a morality play type of allegory in which the ideas that the characters represent are more important than the characters per se, which should sound sufficiently & speciously literary to earn my usual A, but since I’m not a student, to hell with it.  To change the subject: anyone else curious about the Inherent Vice movie?  Admittedly, whenever Hollywood adapts a novel to film, I have reservations–not for, but about. Thankfully, though, it would appear that James Franco has nothing to do with this one, so Kim Jong-un needn’t get involved.  Say what you will about the oft-maligned leader, but at least he’s trying, allegedly, to spare the public from another Franco fiasco, which I’m sure The Interview is.  I don’t know why he’s vilified–Kim, I mean, not Franco, who should be vilified, not only for his wont to chew the scenery in every movie in which he’s appeared, but also for  his horrendously debauched adaptation of Faulkner’s masterpiece, As I Lay Dying.   That’s not just one bad movie but, considering its gratuitous use of split screen, really more like two bad movies.  As for The Interview, let us not forget either the involvement of that other bad ham sandwich, Seth Rogen.  Dismissing him as an actor is easy-peasy–he’s not really an actor–but whether he’s producer, director or screenwriter,  his movies play like bad point-&-click games. (See, for example, The Green Hornet, or better yet–trust me–don’t.)  Obviously, I don’t agree with Kim--or whomever is responsible for the hack & subsequent threats--I’m a pacifist–but at least he (or they) are taking a stand. Sure, he could follow my lead & refuse to shell out cash to watch such trifling crap at the theater, but to be fair, I doubt that he, like any other world leader, has to pay for anything.

William Carlos Williams: The Poet & His Critics, Paul L. Mariani.  In this exhaustive, if not exhausting, overview of critical essays written about Williams, Mariani, through the chronological presentation of his research, not only provides a solid introduction to Williams’s poetry, but also gives brief glimpses into the poet’s life. The reader learns of Williams’s temper, his early failures, his ill-advised angry responses to criticism, his relationships with other poets, his reasons for publishing mostly in little magazines & his frustration with the so-called big boy magazines .  However, Mariani is not so much Williams’ biographer as defender, for he quickly pooh-poohs any negative assessment  of Williams as misguided.  In a similar vein, Mariani also questions why so little attention has been paid to Williams’s short stories & novels. (I question why so little attention is paid to my poetry, but that's a concern for another post.)  If Williams’s fiction is largely ignored, his plays are all but forgotten, having received almost no critical reviews.  Mariani speculates that Williams’s somewhat leftist leanings may have something to do with this.  While Mariani’s writing is dry & at times as awkward as the all too frequent references to Williams as “the old man,” one cannot help but appreciate the monumental amount of research that went into its compilation.  The harshest criticism I could level at Mariani is that he allowed his biography of Hart Crane to serve as the basis of James Franco’s The Broken Tower, but that, once again, is a concern for another post.

Related posts:

Three Quarters in the Jukebox
Half-Year Half-Assed Reviews
The Quarterly Review, Spring 2014

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Anti-Elegy

If you died of loneliness,
would anyone guess?

A robo-call come evening
that nobody heard ringing;

a sad tree toppled
in the forest unpeopled.

Later, a neighbor,
disgusted by the odor,

might drop by unannounced.
Not knowing you’re dead,

he'd stand at your door knocking
loudly & shouting,

“I know you’re there!”  The dummy.
But at least it’s company.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Now on Smellevision

The Brokenwind Mysteries.  Passed for promotion for the last time, Geoff Artly is all set to leave the police force until a recent streak of crimes smells, if not fishy, then just plain rotten.  Partnered with the department's eccentric, case-quacking phenom, Duck-tective Quacky Modo (The Eider Oar Fallacy), Artly's sure to get to the bottom of things.

Series 1:

Who Farted? [Two Hour Pilot]
Silent But Deadly
Dirty Laundry
Last Chance for Gas
If the Cheese Is Sliced . . .
Skid Marks
Helter Smelter
Lingering in an Elevator
All Lit Up Like Xmas

Series 2:

Sticky Drawers
Who Brought the Duck?
Darn Tootin'
Mo' Beans about It
You’re Rich But Trump’s It
Something Died in Here
An Old Windbreaker
Gas Who?
Strange Case of Dr. Pepper & Mr. Pibb

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Michael Eric Dyson, Public Intellectual, on the Legacy of Eric Holder

"Professor, I've known intellectuals.  I've served with intellectuals.  Intellectuals are friends of mine.  Professor, you are no intellectual."

--Sen. Foghorn Leghorn


A month or so ago, on a Democracy Now roundtable discussion about Attorney General Eric Holder stepping down from his position, Michael Eric Dyson, a sociology professor at Georgetown University & frequent guest on news outlets, referred to himself as “a public intellectual.”  He apparently does so on his web site too, which I refuse to give a link to here.

Calling yourself “a public intellectual” displays the same ill-advised arrogance of speaking of yourself in the third person.  Even if someone else calls you “a public intellectual”--& where Dyson is concerned, I have serious doubts—you don’t repeat it about yourself.   As far as I'm concerned, Mike Tyson is more of an intellectual than Dyson.  His "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face" statement, even with its glaring pronoun-antecedent disagreement, is far wiser than anything Dyson's ever said.  To continue the sports-related analogies, Dyson's brand of self-promotion makes him the Terrell Owens of the socio-political talking head rabble.  Those of you who don’t remember T.O., a former star NFL wide receiver, take heart, for maybe you’ll forget about Dyson, too--at least until he appears on Celebrity Apprentice five years down the road.  

Personally, I boycott anything associated with The Donald, but I'll always remember Dyson, an infamous Obamapologist, for his myriad non sequiturs in his rant aimed at the soft-spoken Glen Ford of Black Agenda Report in what was billed as a debate on Obama’s reelection campaign.    During the debate, employing arguments that resembled the tried & true method of determining whether spaghetti noodles are done, Dyson, the selfsame, self-proclaimed public intellectual, apparently exhausted from having fruitlessly flung a cauldron of conjured irrelevancies from popular culture aimed to sidetrack his unflappable opponent's logic, finally resorted to screeching “Who are you voting for?" at Ford.

Democracy Now hosted this debate, so I found it surprising that Amy Goodman & staff would invite Dyson back.  It is, in fact, what disturbs me most, for considering Dyson’s frequent TV appearances--he's pretty much a mainstay at MSNBC, I understand--it would appear that he is regarded as an expert or intellectual.  My god, what does this say about our culture?  In the recent program, Dyson opined that Holder, the first African-American to serve as attorney general, is one of the greatest attorney generals in history.  I’m not sure I know what that exactly means since I was unaware that a pantheon of great cabinet members of the United States exists, but Dyson’s sure it’s true & Holder is one of the two or three best.  He bases this on Holder’s historic importance (first black AG) & strong civil rights record.

I think it’s great whenever glass ceilings are broken, but that doesn’t mean that the person who’s first is necessarily tops.  Would Dyson make a similar claim about Janet Reno?   So far, he hasn't, nor should he.  More to the point, I’m not sure that Holder’s civil rights record is everything that Dyson says it is.  Dyson points to Holder striking down voting restrictions that many traditionally red states have tried to enact during the last decade.  While it’s true that many of the disenfranchised voters are black, it is also true that most of these would-be voters vote (if they can vote) for Democrats.  I’m glad that the Justice Department is trying to stop the further disenfranchising of voters, but Holder’s position more than likely represents the continued partisan battle between Democrats & Republicans rather than a fight for civil rights.  If Holder were truly concerned with civil rights, where was he in the Trayvon Martin case?  Where was he in White Plains?  Where was he in Beavercreek?  In Ferguson (except for posing for a photo-op)?  

According to Dyson, Holder is very concerned about his legacy.  Since his attorney general-ship has historic significance, he couldn’t very well prosecute the bankers who committed fraud & worse.  Instead, he saw them as too big to fail, too big to jail.  Holder , Dyson continues, not only couldn’t let history show that the first black U.S. attorney general allowed the banks to fall & a financial fiasco ensue, but also worried that prosecution would have led to charges of racism because most of the guilty bankers were white.  I swear to fucking god that Dyson actually said this.  Dyson bases this claim on the contention that, since Obama became president, there’s been a backlash against powerful African-Americans. I guess someone didn't get his celebrity ball invitation, eh, Professor?

It’s a false dichotomy that either we let the bankers commit criminal acts without punishment or an economic disaster will occur.  There are many solutions the Obama administration could have pursued:  It could have loaned the banks money—I mean loaned with actual interest as well as strict oversight & considerable strings attached.  It could have used the money to be given to the banks to pay off the mortgages of the defrauded homeowners instead, thereby saving homes (& the lives of those that lived there) as well as the banks who would have received payments on these mortgages, a win-win solution.  It could have--I'm dreaming here--nationalized the banks.  Regardless, the administration could have still prosecuted the bankers in any of these scenarios.  Even if the White House decided to use the actual lame policy it opted for, Holder could have still prosecuted the bankers.

As for the fear of being thought a racist, Holder didn’t fret about such things when his Justice Department prosecuted whistleblowers—with extreme prejudice, if you will—at historic numbers.  Many of said whistleblowers are white, but I doubt that they feel racism is the reason for their prosecution.  I also doubt that powerful African-Americans have felt much backlash from Obama’s historic presidency.   Those with power--regardless of race, religion, gender, sexual preference—don’t feel the sting the way the powerless do.  Indeed, the nation continues to see violence against African-Americans, often committed by police, crimes swept under the DOJ’s ample carpet.  One presumes that Holder doesn’t want to appear historically, however ironically, as soft on crime.

I remember the Eric Holder who said that he didn’t know African-Americans were disproportionately imprisoned.  I remember Holder as the attorney general who wrote the legal defense for drone attacks & the killing of American citizens without due process, a clear violation of one’s civil rights, guaranteed under the Constitution.  I remember Holder prosecuting Tim DeChristopherAaron Schwartz & large numbers of undocumented immigrants.  To say that Eric Holder is one of the greatest attorney generals is ludicrous for many reasons, but Michael Eric Dyson calling himself “a public intellectual”?  That’s fucking loco.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Make It a Double


I’m happy to report that “Lines from Siddhartha” was selected for inclusion in The Second Hump, a “best of” magazine related, as its name implies, to The Camel Saloon.  Thanks again to Russell Streur, editor & barkeep.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Meanwhile, Back at the Saloon

If you drop by The Camel Saloon, I hope you'll take the time to enjoy "Lines from Siddhartha."   While there, you may run across "Hume Goes for a Walk," another of my tanka chain sonnetswhich appeared in April.  Many thanks to Russell Streur, editor & barkeep.  

Friday, October 10, 2014

Best of the Net 2014

Pleased to announce that The Giraffe was nominated for the Best of the Net 2014.  Thanks to Larissa Nash & everyone at Rose Red Review for the nomination.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Three Quarters in the Jukebox

A serious & good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.

     –Ludwig Wittgenstein


A Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man, James Joyce.  You needn’t remind me that James Joyce is a genius since he spent much of his efforts extolling himself as such & he indeed displays an amazing intellect.  For instance, the depiction via stream-of-consciousness of the developing mind of young Stephen shows remarkable insight & ability as a writer.  This doesn’t mean Joyce’s text, which some see as sacrosanct, isn’t without faults.  In particular, I refer to some 30 pages in my paperback of essentially a hellfire & brimstone sermon.  I understand the importance of the episode, but for Herzliebster Jesu’s sake as well as mine, I would have gotten the drift after a much, much abbreviated version.  If Joyce had cut this sermon in half, in fact, it still would have been too long.  I found this example of extreme padding so annoying that it was difficult for me to get back into the novel, though I did eventually get over it.  However, I’m reminded of why I waited over 20 years to re-read Portrait.      

The Love Poems of Ovid, trans. Horace Gregory.  If you want the most thorough translation of Ars Amortia, go with Peter Green, but my favorite is still the Horace Gregory paperback that I’ve read over & over since I bought it for a half dollar one Saturday afternoon long ago at a used bookstore in Mississippi, where I was attending the wedding of a couple I didn’t even know with a friend.   To be clear, the wedding wasn’t in the bookstore–it was at the campus chapel–we went to bookstore to kill time because we got there too early.  In the months that followed, I became friends with the couple–he a tall wannabe poet who idolized me & she a petite hipster–though they later ostracized & spread distressing lies about me.  I never found out why.  Oh, well, fuck ‘em.   They’re now divorced.  Do I regret not recommending Ovid’s Cures for Love for them?  Not as much as I regret knowing them, but sure, that would have been funny.

Return to the City of White Donkeys, James Tate.  In Return to the City of White Donkeys, a collection of prose-like poems, Tate is at his off-the-wall best.  One of my favorite poems here is “Kingdom Come,” which tells of a couple expecting a child.  If I’m not mistaken, I have in my personal collection every book Tate’s published, save for a few chapbooks. Suffice it to say I like his work, especially his later work, this book included, though The Lost Pilot, his first book, remains a favorite.

Artists in Times of War, Howard Zinn.  Much like Cesar Vallejo in Autopsy on Surrealism, Zinn believes, not surprisingly, that artists should express a social conscience.  He provides numerous examples of artists who did just that: Eugene O’Neill, Langston Hughes, Joseph Heller, Helen Keller, et al.  Of Keller, Zinn writes, “I haven’t seen Helen Keller in any film other than the kind of film that concentrates on the fact that she was a disabled person.  I’ve never seen a film in which Helen Keller is presented as what she was : a radical, a socialist, an antiwar agitator.  She was somebody who would refuse to cross a picket line set up against a play that was about her.”  To be fair, how much would Keller have enjoyed a play? Sorry. Anyway, tasteless juvenile joking aside, the point that Zinn makes is fair: the artist should be willing to take a stand against social injustice.

Steppenwolf, Herman Hesse.  I bought this book when I was in high school because of how much I enjoyed both Damian & Siddhartha, but I never got around to reading it.  In a way, I’m glad I waited until I was older because the story is about growing old.  There are many incredible passages from the book to remind the reader of Hesse’s intellectualism, such as:

Do you think I can’t understand your horror of the foxtrot, your dislike of bars & dancing floors, your loathing of jazz & the rest of it?  I understand it only too well, & your dislike of politics as well, your despondence over the chatter & irresponsible antics of the parties & the press, your despair over the war, the one that has been & the one that is to be, over all that people nowadays think, read & build, over the music they play, the celebrations they hold, the education they carry on.

If I'm honest, I generally dislike stories framed as a story within a story.   I understand it when Washington Irving, literature’s greatest liar, begins "Rip Van Winkle" by saying he “found” the manuscript so that he can’t attest to its veracity.  Irving’s fictions have permeated the real world in ways that must delight him.  (Some say if you visit his grave you can hear him snickering in his grave that some people still believe that everyone, before Columbus's voyage, thought the world flat.)  But I don’t understand the frame in those cases in which the author never returns the reader to the initial story that was used to frame the second story, e.g., Henry James’ A Turn of the Screw.  That’s pretty much what Hesse does here.  If you don’t what I’m talking about because you haven’t read James’s novella, I’ll wait here while you take care of that oversight on your part.

Underworld, Don DeLillo.  Having read Bleeding Edge just prior to Underworld, I’d say that DeLillo reminds me of an unfunny Pynchon.  In fact, I’ve said that several times.  Just ask around.  That’s not to say that DeLillo is humorless.  Take the Lenny Bruce routines depicted in Underworld–please!  It’s ironic that Bruce isn’t particularly funny in DeLillo’s presentation of him.  Irony is funny, right?  Or the J. Edgar Hoover shtik.  That’s humorous, right?  Well, it’s more amusing than funny.  That’s not saying that Underworld’s not a good read.  It’s a bit repetitive, but a good read.  Repetitive, yes, but that’s part of the tome, er, tone. Still, a good read, especially for fans of Kate Beckinsale.  

The Collected Poems, Cesar Vallejo, Clayton Eshleman, ed., trans.  Honestly, I don’t have much on which to base my opinion of this bilingual collection other than comparing the poems to the few scattered translations that I’ve read in workshops & those Robert Bly compiled in Neruda & Vallejo, but here are some general observations: 1) Vallejo wrote a lot of sonnets;  2) He’s more difficult to read than Neruda; 3) His poetry’s not as overtly political as his statements in Autopsy on Surrealism might lead you to believe, though his later poems–for example, those in Spain, Take This Cup from Me–become progressively more so.  Now you are ready.  Go forth & read.

Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki & His Years of Pilgrimage, Haruki Murakami.  I hesitate to say anything negative about Colorless Tsukuru since I didn’t like IQ84.  (Oops, I mean 1Q84, though when you think about it, the story is kinda stupid.)  I worry that I’ll come across as someone who plain doesn’t like Murakami when, in fact, I’ve read every novel he’s written.  However, I don’t understand why he chose to tell this particular story in the manner that he did–jumping herky-jerky around in time at the beginning of the book rather than pursuing a conventional linear progression, which he adopts halfway through the novel.  Am I alone in liking the Murakami who wrote A Wild Sheep Chase, Sputnik Sweetheart, The Wind Up Bird Chronicle, Kafka by the Shore, Norwegian Wood & just about everything before 1Q84 better?  The good news is that Murakami's finally allowing his first novel, Hear the Wind Sing, the first in the ironic four book Rat Trilogy, to be translated into English (officially--there's already a version of the novel intended for classroom use in adult education for those who know where to look).  Can Pinball, 1973 be far behind?    

Claudine at School, Colette.  This early 20th century Not-So-Sweet Valley High story was Colette’s first novel.  It’s not particularly racy by today’s standards, though perhaps it was then, what with soft young girls in short chemises & whatnots sharing beds & intimacies.  By today’s standards, some might consider it immoral, what with bristle-whiskered teachers leching after coquettish underage students in green ribbons & such.  Much in the way of sexual indiscretions is hinted at broadly, though Cinemax could with little effort transform it into late night entertainment, if it hasn't already.  I’m unsure why I read this–ok, you tell me since you know so much.    

God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, Kurt Vonnegut.  I bought this Dell paperback in high school for a buck & a quarter, yet only recently got around to reading it.  Doh, I could kick myself.  Not literally.  I can barely lift my legs high enough to climb steps.  Steep steps, fuggetabottit, I’m taking the elevator.  (Do you know who Darth Vader’s sister is?  Ella Vader!)  Slaughterhouse Five remains his most important work, but this novel may very well be my favorite Vonnegut book ever.  The story centers, amusingly so, on the issue of the unfair distribution of wealth.  At one point, sounding not unlike any of today’s conservatives, which is just about everybody in Washington, Senator Rosewater says about the poor, “Perhaps, if they stopped believing in crazy things like the Money River, and got to work, they would stop having such a rotten time.”  His protagonist, philanthropist son Eliot replies, “If there isn’t a Money River, then how did I make ten thousand dollars today, just by snoozing and scratching myself, and occasionally answering the telephone?”  Of course, you’ll have to adjust for inflation & pollution, but the problem of who can & can’t slurp from the Money River in 1965 remains a major concern these days here in the real world, you know, the one we live in now.

Pictures from Brueghel & Other Poems, William Carlos Williams.  A collection of three of Williams’ books (Pictures from Brueghel, The Desert Music & Journey to Love), this New Directions classic is just what the doctor ordered, especially if the doctor is a New Jersey pediatrician named William Carlos Williams.  If you know anything about me, you know I like W.C. Fields & Williams.  Big fan, big fan.  Like Fields, when Williams is on, he’s spot on & that’s why he--Williams, not Fields--garnered his richly deserved place in the pantheon of American poets.  However, when he’s not, as hillbilly troubadour Jerry Reed would be quick, or perhaps hick, to say, he’s not.  Williams has a tendency to discuss the nature of poetry & its purpose overtly in the body of the poem.  When each poem is, to some degree, the poet’s implicit aesthetic statement, to remind the reader constantly that you’re writing a poem & here’s what poems do wearies me.  But doctors tend to be a pompous condescending bunch, so I guess when you factor in the fact that Williams was not only a doctor but also an Objectivist--not the rank Ayn Rand variety--it makes a certain sense, though it lacks appeal from where I sit, namely on a piece of paper atop an examination table endlessly waiting.  (Actually, I should note that by most accounts, Williams was not an elitist, but held certain left-of-the-center views.  Critics have pointed to his association with now defunct leftist magazines like Blast, his novels like White Mule, as well as such poems as "To a Poor Old Woman"  & "The Yachts,"  neither included in this collection, as evidence of his left leanings.)  Some of Williams’s poems start well, but they kind of peter out–again, a reference to my current situation in the examination room.  As in a Will Ferrell movie–any Will Ferrell movie–it starts out funny, but about an hour in, the humor fades & you watch, waiting in vain for Graham Chapman, back from the dead to reprise his role as the Colonel, to saunter onto the screen, telling the actors to end their silly skit, er, movie & move along.   Chapman, who, incidentally, studied medicine at Oxford, could have done worse than to have strolled across the pages of a few of Williams’s poems too.  (An impossibility?  Everything’s possible in poetry & dreams–all right, Leonardo–& cartoons.)    However, I don’t wish to sound negative.  Williams is one of my favorite poets.  This is a great book with great poems & parts of poems.  Take, for example, these apropos lines from “Asphodel, That Greeny Flower”:    

       The bomb speaks.
                     All suppressions, 
from the witchcraft trials at Salem
        to the latest
                       book burnings,
are confessions
         that the bomb
                       has entered our lives
to destroy us.
         Every drill
                        driven into the earth
for oil enters my side
         also.
                    Waste! waste!
dominates the world.
        It is the bomb’s work.


A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess.  I hadn’t read this raskazz in some raz, but viddying how I’ve been a malenky bazoomy, what with all the gloopy lewdies going right right right with all that social media cal, I messeled it might be a dobby smeck.   I pony why an oomny moodge like Burgess govoreets all appy-polly-loggies that it’s too hound & horny to interessovat those but the dim, they being really dim.  I slooshy but cannot agree.  The way he fillies with slovos like Ludwig van, only with goloss, not orchestral warbles, is real horrorshow.  As for that sod Kubrick’s sinny–when I was malenky I went spoogy because of the ultra-violence splodging across the screen while some mersky malchick (Malcolm MacDowell) flashed his zoobies, but now I'm older & that starry veshch can’t stand up to that what you can get your rookers on at the biblio.  If thou hath not read it, my brothers & only droogies, grow thyself some yarbles very skorry do.



Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Joe Bidenate Agno

If you're for women's rights, good jobs & healthcare for everyone, then you should support the war--er, humanitarian action.
--John Fucking Kerry, Secretary of Shite
 

I

Joe Biden says it’s never cool to hit a woman.
Joe Biden says child abuse isn’t acceptable.
Joe Biden says stay in school.
Joe Biden says don’t do drugs.
Joe Biden says the grass is always greener.
Joe Biden says be true to your school like you would your girl or guy.
Joe Biden says accept no substitutes.
Joe Biden says no shirt no shoes no service.
Joe Biden says fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice . . . won’t get fooled again.
Joe Biden says winners aren’t whiners.
Joe Biden says life isn’t fair.
Joe Biden says fair is where you take your pig.
Joe Biden squeals like a little piggie.
Joe Biden says sorry doesn’t feed the bulldog.
Joe Biden feeds his dogs only the best.
Joe Biden's dogs are family.
Joe Biden's dogs are barking.
Joe Biden is facing an existential crisis.
Joe Biden is at a crossroads.
Joe Biden is making a deal with the devil.
Joe Biden is an American politician & 47th Vice-President of the United States.
Joe Biden puts the “ice” in “vice.”
Joe Biden’s code name is Vanilla Ice.
Joe Biden is walking on sunshine.
Joe Biden is on a natural high.
Joe Biden says it’s all good.
Joe Biden has a lust for life.
Joe Biden has child-bearing hips.
Joe Biden has eyes like limpid pools.
Joe Biden’s blood type is AB.
Joe Biden says go for two.
Joe Biden says put me in, coach.
Joe Biden has no recollection of that at this moment.
Joe Biden remembers the Maine.
Joe Biden wants you to want me.
Joe Biden is the most random person you’ll ever meet.
Joe Biden, literally.
Joe Biden is currently under review.
Joe Biden faces charges.
Joe Biden is on the air.
Joe Biden wants the airwaves baby.
Joe Biden says a good man is hard to find.
Joe Biden believes for every drop of rain a flower grows.
Joe Biden uses only fresh ingredients.
Joe Biden says make love not war.

II

Joe Biden says my mama didn’t raise no fool.
Joe Biden says I may be crazy but I’m not stupid.
Joe Biden says everybody’s got something to hide but me & my monkey.
Joe Biden says if you don’t have anything to hide, you’ve got nothing to worry about.
Joe Biden believes in law & order.
Joe Biden watches Law & Order on Hulu.
Joe Biden wonders if the rain will hurt the rhubarb.
Joe Biden asks if you’re working hard or hardly working.
Joe Biden says different strokes for different folks.
Joe Biden may not agree with you but he’ll fight to the death for your right to say it.
Joe Biden wants to buy the world a Coke.
Joe Biden wants to know if you’ve ever seen the rain.
Joe Biden says it’s hard work made America great.
Joe Biden says the worker is the backbone of America.
Joe Biden says call before you dig.
Joe Biden says objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
Joe Biden is a bad mother . . . shut your mouth!
Joe Biden isn’t just for breakfast anymore.
Joe Biden is a soul man.
Joe Biden’s been a ba-a-a-a-a-ad boy.
Joe Biden looks at all the lonely people.
Joe Biden looks at all the phony sheeple.
Joe Biden 2: Electric Boogaloo This Time It’s Personal
Joe Biden takes the 8:15 into the city.
Joe Biden takes the money & runs.
Joe Biden is a little pimp with his hair gassed back.
Joe Biden can’t believe Zappa’s been gone for 20 years.
Joe Biden always drinks responsibly.
Joe Biden says friends don’t let friends drive drunk.
Joe Biden sells cartoon balloons in town.
Joe Biden sells seashells by the seashore.
Joe Biden jumped over the lazy dog.
Joe Biden thinks Justin Bieber needs to grow up.
Joe Biden has the body of a twenty year old.
Joe Biden is a lecherous old fart.
Joe Biden lingers like a fart in a phone booth.
Joe Biden’s face matches your ass.
Joe Biden thinks outside the box.
Joe Biden believes in America.
Joe Biden didn’t steal no bike.
Joe Biden doesn’t need no stinking badges.
Joe Biden isn’t your father’s Oldsmobile.
Joe Biden rolls a stony.  
Joe Biden wants to rock & roll all night & party everyday.
Joe Biden is working for the weekend.
Joe Biden believes professional wrestling is fake.
Joe Biden says shit's getting real.
Joe Biden is full of it.

III

Joe Biden is for what you’re for & against what you’re against.
Joe Biden refers to himself in the third person.
Joe Biden isn’t the brightest crayon in the box.
Joe Biden isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Joe Biden is a nice guy but he’s about as sharp as a bowling ball.
Joe Biden says eat your veggies.
Joe Biden says you have a nice little business.  Be a shame if something happened to it.
Joe Biden doesn’t remember asking you a goddamn thing.
Joe Biden is a good kisser.
Joe Biden likes candlelight dinners, soft music,  moonlight walks along the beach.
Joe Biden wrote a little letter to his local DJ.
Joe Biden wears army boots.
Joe Biden is stupid & his mother dresses him funny.
Joe Biden can read the writing on the wall.
Joe Biden can’t read.
Joe Biden calls the wind Mariah.
Joe Biden is a tough cookie.
Joe Biden is Sparta.
Joe Biden wants to be a millionaire. 
Joe Biden makes the homies go uh & the girlies wanna scream.
Joe Biden doesn’t want tuna with good taste.
Joe Biden wants tuna that tastes good.
Joe Biden makes a dead man cum.
Joe Biden says it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good                  fortune must be in want of a wife.
Joe Biden believes in miracles.
Joe Biden, waking one morning from disturbing dreams, found himself transformed in his bed into a          big fucking roach.
Joe Biden has seen life from both sides now.
Joe Biden <3 NY.
Joe Biden loves you best of all.
Joe Biden also loves . . . baseball.
Joe Biden also loves . . . billiards.
Joe Biden loves . . . he loves San Dimas!
Joe Biden isn’t your mother.
Joe Biden says no excuses.
Joe Biden says things are not always what they seem.
Joe Biden says the bigger they are, the harder they fall.
Joe Biden is your one stop shop.
Joe Biden is standing by.
Joe Biden stands by me.
Joe Biden comes grooving up slowly.
Joe Biden waits somewhere for you.

IV

Joe Biden warns of the dangers of smokeless tobacco.
Joe Biden says smoking is hazardous to your health.
Joe Biden likes cat memes.
Joe Biden selling Bibles at the airport.
Joe Biden buying Quaaludes on the phone.
Joe Biden is living large.
Joe Biden is loco.
Joe Biden is livin’ la vida loca.
Joe Biden takes the cake.
Joe Biden talks the talk, but he doesn’t walk the walk.
Joe Biden can dish it out, but can he take it?
Joe Biden is the best Joe Biden that Joe Biden knows how to be.
Joe Biden wanders lonely as a cloud.
Joe Biden says hey. Macarena.
Joe Biden says members only.
Joe Biden says you shall not pass.
Joe Biden says it stops here & now.
Joe Biden says you want me to turn this thing around?
Joe Biden is in the kitchen with Dinah.
Joe Biden melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Joe Biden because sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.
Joe Biden is a creep.
Joe Biden is beginning to like you, but you know that ain’t right.
Joe Biden says if you have an erection that lasts for more than four hours, call your doctor.
Joe Biden says we’ve created a marketplace for healthcare.
Joe Biden buried Paul.
Joe Biden is so fat that when he sits around the house he really sits around the house.
Joe Biden says call now.
Joe Biden approves of this message.
Joe Biden flies in the face of logic.
Joe Biden likes those odds.
Joe Biden can take it or leave it.
Joe Biden wants to know if he should stay or should he go.
Joe Biden is standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona.
Joe Biden looks both ways before crossing the street.
Joe Biden was with Washington at Valley Forge, shivering in the cold.
Joe Biden, can you see by the dawn’s early light?
Joe Biden isn’t into that.
Joe Biden doesn’t go there.
Joe Biden doesn’t swing that way.
Joe Biden, a swing & a miss.

V

Joe Biden is the perfect stranger.
Joe Biden says all you need is love.
Joe Biden says money makes the world go round.
Joe Biden isn’t rocket surgery.
Joe Biden says thou shalt not kill.
Joe Biden says thou shalt not covet.
Joe Biden says thou shalt not take the name of the lord thy god in vain.
Joe Biden doesn’t remember the other thou shalts.
Joe Biden is the walrus googoogajoob.
Joe Biden digs it.
Joe Biden likes chicks.
Joe Biden digs the long ball.
Joe Biden knows.
Joe Biden say no more wink wink nudge nudge.
Joe Biden can learn a lot from a dummy.
Joe Biden says the call came from inside the house.
Joe Biden is beside himself.  
Joe Biden is Ram tough.
Joe Biden like a rock.
Joe Biden never inhaled.
Joe Biden never had sexual relations with that woman.
Joe Biden takes the Nestea plunge.
Joe Biden takes the ice bucket challenge.
Joe Biden roots for the home team.
Joe Biden hears America calling.
Joe Biden says hello we play to win the game.
Joe Biden’s got your number.
Joe Biden has Joe-mentum.
Joe Biden suffers the children.
Joe Biden is not the kind you take home to mother.
Joe Biden likes his coffee like his women.
Joe Biden has a binder full of women.
Joe Biden is en fuego.
Joe Biden fist pumps.
Joe Biden once saw a UFO.
Joe Biden puts on women’s clothing & hangs around in bars.
Joe Biden is squeezably soft.
Joe Biden is Luke Skywalker’s father.
Joe Biden blames the obstructionist Republicans for his failures.
Joe Biden never fails to . . .
Joe Biden says put your hands on your head.
Joe Biden says go-go-Gadget.
Joe Biden drones on & on & on . . . 
Joe Biden says just do it.
Joe Biden likes his money.
Joe Biden believes in you.
Joe Biden says bite my shiny metal ass.
Joe Biden does Dallas.
Joe Biden saves the world.
Joe Biden spells relief R-O-L-A-I-D-S.
Joe Biden plays guitar in a long-haired rock’n’roll band.
Joe Biden is bullish on America.
Joe Biden sleeps tonight.
Joe Biden likes his sugar sweet.
Joe Biden says trust me.
Joe Biden squats on his haunches.
Joe Biden & the horse he rode in on.

VI

Joe Biden presents Joe Biden’s Peeples.
Joe Biden steals from the poor & gives to the rich.
Joe Biden cannot tell a lie.
Joe Biden is the bomb.
Joe Biden puts one foot in front of the other.
Joe Biden is asleep at the wheel.
Joe Biden says a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Joe Biden is no Jack Kennedy.
Joe Biden has secretly replaced your regular coffee with Folger’s Instant.
Joe Biden is a hard nut to crack.
Joe Biden says that’s just Joe Biden being Joe Biden.
Joe Biden needs a red Corvette.
Joe Biden accuses his parents.
Joe Biden blames society.
Joe Biden turns the corner.
Joe Biden says nobody puts baby in the corner.
Joe Biden thinks Kanye West is an egotist.
Joe Biden thinks Lady Gaga is weird.
Joe Biden flies like an eagle.
Joe Biden no thanks I’m driving.
Joe Biden saw what you did & knows who you are.
Joe Biden dares to eat a peach.
Joe Biden hears you knocking but you can’t come in.
Joe Biden goes in but doesn’t come out.
Joe Biden wants everybody to be free.
Joe Biden believes in the two state solution.
Joe Biden lost on Jeopardy.
Joe Biden is a footnote.
Joe Biden is a trivia question.
Joe Biden says why pay more?
Joe Biden goes BOGO.
Joe Biden lays an egg.
Joe Biden hears a Who.
Joe Biden is the new Dr. Who.
Joe Biden is the new Bond.
Joe Biden is the new black.
Joe Biden has no regrets.
Joe Biden means business.
Joe Biden says fuggitaboutit.
Joe Biden talks to himself.
Joe Biden talks too loud.
Joe Biden talks in his sleep.
Joe Biden skips the light fandango.
Joe Biden is the sweetest taboo.
Joe Biden brings home the bacon.
Joe Biden likes bacon.
Joe Biden believes bacon makes everything better.
Joe Biden is drinking your milkshake.
Joe Biden swings like a gate, a rusty gate.
Joe Biden makes Chinese food swing American.
Joe Biden is nobody’s sweetheart.
Joe Biden is a punk rocker.
Joe Biden is a headbanger.
Joe Biden dresses like a cheap whore.
Joe Biden smells like teen spirit.
Joe Biden is all apologies.
Joe Biden is farealz y’all.

VII

Joe Biden goes commando.
Joe Biden goes undercover.
Joe Biden walks the streets.
Joe Biden slouches toward Bethlehem.
Joe Biden is Henry the VIII, he is he is.
Joe Biden is a righteous dude.
Joe Biden says well that’s like your opinion, man.
Joe Biden says we used to be friends.
Joe Biden says my name isYon Yonson I come from Wisconsin.
Joe Biden, Joe Schmiden.
Joe Biden doesn’t have time for the pain.
Joe Biden says every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp-dressed man.
Joe Biden is just a soft soap story.
Joe Biden begs the question.
Joe Biden begs your pardon.
Joe Biden is beholding to no one.
Joe Biden can take it or leave it.
Joe Biden is living on a prayer.
Joe Biden is all out of love.
Joe Biden is taking names & kicking ass & is all out of names.
Joe Biden is running on empty.
Joe Biden is legend.
Joe Biden is genius.
Joe Biden as the Beaver.
Joe Biden is playing three-dimensional chess.
Joe Biden sucks donkey dicks.
Joe Biden can run, but he can’t hide.
Joe Biden says it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Joe Biden is leaving on a jet plane.
Joe Biden takes a licking & keeps on ticking.
Joe Biden is beginning to look a lot like Xmas.
Joe Biden could have been a contender.
Joe Biden’s not against but he’s not for it.
Joe Biden’s just saying.
Joe Biden is ironic.
Joe Biden says thanks but no thanks to the bridge to nowhere.
Joe Biden cares because you care.
Joe Biden is somebody’s mother.
Joe Biden must be somebody’s baby. 
Joe Biden, he’s so fine he blows my mind.
Joe Biden ain’t got no home.
Joe Biden is a running dog lackey of the bourgeoisie.
Joe Biden says anything for a buck.
Joe Biden says the buck stops here.
Joe Biden says a sucker’s born every minute.
Joe Biden is a man of means by no means.
Joe Biden pulled himself up by his own bootstraps.
Joe Biden helps those who helps themselves.
Joe Biden does the hokey-pokey.
Joe Biden says that’s what it’s all about.
Joe Biden makes the scene.
Joe Biden makes the grade.
Joe Biden is a beauty school dropout. 
Joe Biden is a teenage dope fiend.
Joe Biden, is you a werewolf?

VIII

Joe Biden is putting for par on fifteen.
Joe Biden at the bowling alley, knocking down all the pins.
Joe Biden says everything is everything.
Joe Biden walks along the beach with his trousers rolled.
Joe Biden says it is what it is.
Joe Biden nailed it.
Joe Biden says don’t tell me what to do, Obama.
Joe Biden is like George W. Bush, a reformed alcoholic.
Joe Biden says get right with God.
Joe Biden says racism is wrong.
Joe Biden says sexism is wrong.
Joe Biden says homophobia isn’t ok.
Joe Biden called & he wants his hat back.
Joe Biden is old school.
Joe Biden goes way back.
Joe Biden doesn’t go deep.
Joe Biden doesn’t do nice.
Joe Biden is tough on crime.
Joe Biden is a rich man too.
Joe Biden barfs me with a spoon.
Joe Biden is like whatever.
Joe Biden likes me.  He really likes me.
Joe Biden made his bed.  Let him lie in it.
Joe Biden says all he asks is that you let him serve you your way.
Joe Biden says have it your way.
Joe Biden says the customer is always right.
Joe Biden says money happily refunded if you’re not completely satisfied.
Joe Biden says money is never happily refunded.
Joe Biden may not be a big city lawyer, but . . . 
Joe Biden says you’re making his point for him.
Joe Biden aims to please.
Joe Biden’s aim is true.
Joe Biden knows the capital of Djibouti is Djibouti.
Joe Biden says go go goldie go go.
Joe Biden is historically inaccurate.
Joe Biden isn’t perfect.
Joe Biden is a backdoor man.
Joe Biden is the hoochie-coochie man.
Joe Biden looks like the devil.
Joe Biden Joe Biden Joe Biden.
Joe Biden is all that is the case.
Joe Biden says it’s your choice.
Joe Biden plays when he wants to play.
Joe Biden says it’s your thing.
Joe Biden says do what you want to do.
Joe Biden can’t tell you who to sock it to.
Joe Biden knows the internet is not something you can just dump something on.  It’s not a big truck.         It’s a series of tubes . . .  
Joe Biden can’t see the forest for the trees.
Joe Biden says three strikes & you’re out.
Joe Biden says who let the dogs out?
Joe Biden doesn’t know what it’s like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes.
Joe Biden doesn’t know what it’s like to love somebody the way I love you.
Joe Biden likes big butts & he cannot lie.
Joe Biden is not in love.
Joe Biden wants to know what love is.
Joe Biden runs with scissors.
Joe Biden doesn’t play well with others.
Joe Biden loves you kid, but oh his wife.
Joe Biden, over & over.

IX

Joe Biden says thanks for the memories.
Joe Biden is taking a sentimental journey.
Joe Biden says it’s all right hey lawdy mama.
Joe Biden gets it.
Joe Biden is the hammer & you are the nail.
Joe Biden is law & you are crime.
Joe Biden is one sick puppy.
Joe Biden promises puppies for everyone.
Joe Biden is one messed up mamajama.
Joe Biden is too blessed to feel depressed.
Joe Biden is too inspired to feel tired.
Joe Biden is too legit to quit.
Joe Biden is licensed to ill.
Joe Biden would stake his reputation on it.
Joe Biden wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Joe Biden, what a great, great guy.
Joe Biden put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp.
Joe Biden put the ram in the rama lama ding dong.
Joe Biden put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop.
Joe Biden put the dip in the dip da dip da dip.
Joe Biden celebrates himself & sings himself & what he assumes you shall assume, for every atom            belonging to him as good belongs to you.
Joe Biden says who you gonna call?  
Joe Biden says where’s the beef?
Joe Biden is seven degrees of Kevin Bacon.
Joe Biden is a real nowhere man.
Joe Biden says you fucked up.  You trusted us.
Joe Biden is a singular politician; Joe Bidens is plural.
Joe Biden knows how to work a room.
Joe Biden denies that the existence of classes oppresses the masses.
Joe Biden says show me the money.
Joe Biden says go on take the money & run.
Joe Biden looks like shit on a Ritz.
Joe Biden really cares about your lame people & your crummy temple but . . .
Joe Biden spoke with reporters.
Joe Biden was a sled.

X

Joe Biden better knock on wood.
Joe Biden says where’s the love?
Joe Biden takes the long way home.
Joe Biden walking in the park, admiring the elephant.
Joe Biden buying the Tribune.  Joe Biden buying the Times.
Joe Biden saying Yes this is 
Joe Biden.  Sunday at 5?  I’d love to–& you?
Joe Biden alone at Longchamps, staring at the wall.
Joe Biden says it has a good beat & it’s easy to dance to.
Joe Biden gots to have rock’n’roll music.
Joe Biden is still rock’n’roll to me.
Joe Biden wants two boiled eggs.
Joe Biden says make that three boiled eggs.
Joe Biden knows why the caged bird sings.
Joe Biden wonders if it’s too late to take back his introduction.
Joe Biden’s been down so long it looks like up to him.
Joe Biden shot the sheriff, but he did not shoot the deputy.
Joe Biden, we hardly knew ye.
Joe Biden is an American classic.
Joe Biden is a rock.  
Joe Biden is an island.
Joe Biden says that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
Joe Biden knows which side his bread’s buttered on.
Joe Biden bites the hand the feeds him.
Joe Biden cut off his nose to spite his face.
Joe Biden says he’s not heavy, he’s my brother.
Joe Biden says he’s not his brother’s keeper.
Joe Biden wonders who watches the watchmen.
Joe Biden talks about Main Street, not Wall Street.
Joe Biden’s been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn & a king.
Joe Biden’s been up & down & over & out & he knows one thing.
Joe Biden supposes his toeses are roses.
Joe Biden doesn’t believe in moral victories.
Joe Biden says you can’t legislate morality.
Joe Biden doesn’t understand Kant.
Joe Biden thinks I’m cute.
Joe Biden says Happy Birthday!
Joe Biden can stick it where the sun don’t shine.
Joe Biden does not give a shit repeat does not give a shit about homies.
Joe Biden is a low rider.
Joe Biden is stinking to high heavens.
Joe Biden likes the night life.
Joe Biden wishes he were your lover.
Joe Biden, the ass.
Joe Biden, your mother.
Joe Biden is everywhere.
Joe Biden says love me & despair.