Thursday, October 2, 2008

Laying Claim to the Name

Ever Google yourself?

If you were me, you'd find many people share your name, most notably the once promising MLB pitcher whose career tanked & a former Mickey Mouse Club member who's a musician. Allegedly. In either case, I'm not likely to be confused with those guys.

From time to time, I receive phone calls for locals also named Matt Morris, but despite the inconvenience & annoyance, it's simply mistaken identity that, for the most part, is easily rectified. After all, we're not in the same line of work or know the same people.

However, thanks to Google & narcissism, I've learned others named Matt Morris are credited with writing poetry.

This cannot stand.

As a disclaimer, let me say I'm not this guy. Nor this. Certainly not this either.

Listen, Matts, you need to be with me on this one. For the common good, ok? I'm sure lots of people have the initials H.D., but they all don't sign their poems that way. Even if every atom belonging to him as good as belongs to me, I don't call myself Walt Whitman. It would cause confusion, not to mention make me appear totally wacko. Thus, in order to prevent utter chaos, we need to agree that only one of us can write as Matt Morris.

Here's the deal: Since my first book was published in 2003, my first poem way, way, way back in the f'ing '70s, I have first refusal on the name--& yes, thank you, I'm keeping it, my name.

You Mattys-come-lately can battle it out over who gets to use Matthew, I suppose. Or how about you lesser Matts using initials? Or why not take a tip from the e-world & add numbers to your name? Better yet, ever consider a nom de plume?

Point is, there's room for only one Matt Morris in poetry town & that position is filled. You! Hypocrite lecteurs! Quietly & quickly move away from the name. It's taken.


Riley said...

Now, I don't think the initial idea will work. M&M might raise a fuss. I'd go with the e-name idea. They could be MattMorris23 or something like that. You might wanna consider legal action. You gotta protect your brand! Just ask Xerox, Kleenex, or Aspirin!

Matt Morris said...

Rest assured, a cease & desist order is in the works if these attempts to sully my good name continue. In the meantime, you'd think these other Matts would have the decency--or the balls--to reply with their apologies.